Enigmatic Soul reveals all and nothing

It's awesome to see that Gordon Brown and Jack Straw have time to comment on the whole Russell Brand/Jonathan Ross/Andrew Sachs saga, not like there is anything else they should be doing or concentrating on is there.....

AND it obviously wasn't the cleverest thing to do but this Georgina woman (is that her name? can't be arsed to check) well she is so offended she is telling her story to the sun. In this little story she is talking about how things are awkward with her grandfather now! Shouldn't have to explain yourself to your grandfather about what you get upto she says!! Hang on now darlin, you belong to some group which goes somewhat along the line of Satanic Sluts do you not?? He must have been SOOOO proud before eh!?

For my sins, I read the Sun newspaper, I think it's a good laugh. I studied media for 4 years so know some stuff of how newspapers work and why they write certain things to make a story etc

Well there was one on the Bizarre pages today and it was just ridiculous. It was about Brittney Spears and she was pulling some silly faces and looking like she was just having some fun. I thought she looked pretty actually and kind of hot for the first time in a long time

But because she pulled faces it was said that her face pulling reminded Gordon Smart (the Bizarre editor guy) of her head shaving days!

What a pile of bollocks! Is she not allowed to have fun now then? has to look serious all the time? No wonder she cracked up before, what a pleb!

Well that annoyed me today lol, I know I have too much time on my hands!

Links for that story are here

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/showbiz/bizarre/article605880.ece?slideshowPopup=true&articleId=605880&nSlide=2

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/showbiz/bizarre/usa/article1761975.ece

I keep trying to force words out, to put something out there to make me noticed and get people to respond but as usual I can't find any right words

Yeah that's right, your sex is on fire babeh! oooh no, check that, that's the dinner I was preparing, you distracted me Just what is needed, a lusty woman and some firemen! Someone grab the camcorder and lets make some money eh!?

I freakin love that song though, I liked some of the Kings early stuff, I think because Caleb Followill mumbled the words so is like me, I'm damn awesome at mumbling, keeps me out of trouble!

As usual there wasn't really a point to this but really what better things are there to do at eight minutes past twelve on a friday night!?

Just a cardboard box update for anyone following that thrilling sub plot in the twisting tale that is my life. I say twisting, but I'd liken my life to a roman road! So yeah anyway, it's 8 down, 148 to go! (I think) Those bad boys are flying out the store!!

They say men have a one track mind but thats a load of.... SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX.... rubbish really, I don't find it distracts me and I can think of many other things generally proceeded by "lack of"

Not tooo sure that last thingy up there ^^^^ made too much sense but, when do I? People rarely make sense FACT!( this is not an actual fact, this is a craigy fact, which is just as good because i'm so facty fact fact fantastic)(please note i'm not actually fantastic)( and whats up with all the brackets!)

So yeah people don't make sense, certainly not to me! Like person A is like all ooooh yeah you're so good when actually its like hmmmm I better say that so they don't meltdown thinking they're pathetic. Then person B is like yep yep damn awesome that is (that being a person) but out of sight out of mind, then all of a sudden someone else is the bees knees innit! Simple message, say what you feckin mean alright. AND obviously this rule does not apply to me =D

PSYCOLOGIST TO AISLE 13 PLEASE!

Here is a scenario ---> woman says oh you never buy me anything, man buys flowers, woman wants to know why she got flowers, what the fuck you done? you cheating on me? -------what lesson have we learnt? No lesson is learnt of course because men never think APPARENTLY*** correction, men do think, with their WILLY!!! WOOOO I bought someone flowers once....what-a mistake-a to make-a!

You bored yet? Still reading? Stupid fucks! I'm only swearing for effect and does not apply to my sister or Kate as they say they read all my stuff anyway, you poor poor people, how do you cope with the suffering!?

Yo bitch I clicked my fingers, why ain't you at my feet???

You say I'm cheeky but how can we believe this crazy world, I mean for a start off why the hell you out the kitchen for woman?

The funny thing is I'm not actually sexist! Although you may have got that opinion somewhere along the line here! Can't think how =/ I'm all for women doing it for themselves and all that shizzle (think I just proved the one track mind theory though, had a rude thought =D) Lets reverse the roles and stereotypes shall we, chase me chase me, please damn well chase me!

It's like in chess, I'll never be black cos I just won't make the first move! (That is a nerdy joke so be happy if you don't understand that one!)

Jammalammabingbong

I want to send my canoe up your creek

Everything is an innuendo isn't it

I'll call it a night there I think

But I may leave you with one thought

If men are from Mars and women are from Venus, where are transexuals from? (got to be a Uranus joke there somewhere)

People are STRANGE

I don't really understand anyone

Understanding everyone would be boring

But not getting anyone?

That's crazy

Saying that

Anyone who understands me

Needs some sort of award

Because even I don't get me half the time

Probably why I contain myself in a spiral

The brightest spiral in the world

Doesn't stop it being lonely though does it

Why is it so hard to keep information safe? I wouldn't have thought it to be that hard but these people we put in charge of the databases seem to lack any ability to keep hold of anything. They post things through unsecure networks, they download files onto uncrypted storage devices, they leave their laptop on the train, in the pub or any other place they can damn well manage.

I want their job, i'd be freaking awesome because I can remember where I put stuff. AND I can compute to my brain that the files i'm in charge of are VERY VERY important and should never be out of my site!

Who leaves their laptop behind though? Yeah there must be the odd instance but surely you remember at some point. The people with the important files are just like hmmm I'm sure I came in with something, but I haven't got it now, what was it? sure it couldn't have been important...

Perhaps they should put their personal stash of porn on their too, then they wouldn't leave it behind would they!?!

The heart, our biggest strength, yet our biggest weakness

discuss

I have no idea what this is and to be quite honest I don't really care

It was my birthday this week, I was 22

Got the usual questions, like, so you going out to get drunk this weekend I suspect Craig?

Of course I say, well i'm not sure, no plans yet but i'm sure I will....

And then I just want to scream of course I'm fucking not you stupid idiot, when the fuck did I come across to you as someone approaching normal!?! I don't do normal stuff alright so go fuck off and ask conversational questions to someone who can give you interesting answers

Who do you think I'm going to go out with exactly? Have I mislead you into thinking I have these hoards of friends that I keep in a box to be brought out on such occasions?

I can't even put together a group of people to be "friends" with on facebook for christ sake!

If i'm really lucky it will coincide with my sisters charity work and she can invite me to the cinema, yeah that will do my self esteem no end of good

But other than that I'm bloody chipper mate, top of the fucking world!

Hands up who thinks I'm cool now

I feel so much better worse now

and I don't actually care what anyone thinks of it

when actually I care a hell of a lot and I'll laugh off this whole thing if anyone questions me on it, while striking my usual blushing and slightly sweat doused pose, but even if nothing is said my overwhelming paranoia will go to work on your behalf

I've survived my lonesome life for quite a while now so its all gravy baby

I was wondering, you know, if erm, you could possibly think about, hmmmm, how to put this, erm yeah if you could not ermmmm leave all my personal details on a god damn train!?!?!?!

Well I came on the train with a folder with all your details on but course I didn't take it off with me, that would just be silly wouldn't it!?!

What do you mean a train isn't a high security storage facility?

If only they'd put porn on the disk with the details I would never forget where I put it!

Its not my fault, the journey was SOOOOOOO long and I was all sleepy and dreamt of unicorns and so I couldn't wait to get home and pet mine

I thought my butler would carry it off the train for me

I'm just going to admit it, I hate this fucking country and all the silly fuckers in it so I left it on the train on bloody purpose HA!

I needed a wee wee, I was really desperate!!

What do you mean this was real peoples details? I thought we were still playing the sims!?!

Well we could have made the disks more secure but I was going to be late for that round of golf...

I went on the train and and and ....those commoners, were breathing near me and everything, I just had to get away

Big Brother was on and I forgot to sky plus it and my maid doesn't know how to set it, stupid bloody foreigners....

It was a slow news day so the Sun paid me to leave them there??

I'm just fucking stupid

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Can I hear a woopa doopa loopa from the people

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