I rode the waves, then I rode your mum!

I'm a 30 second love machine

I'll laugh you into bed, then laugh you straight back out when I pull down my pants

I'm certainly not hot so I must be freaking cool

Fat people can't go skinny dipping FACT

This blog is longer than my penis

If boobs weren't supposed to be looked at, they wouldn't have been shoved out up front

Could I be anymore lamely idiotic right now

I'm coming after I stroke your pussy, should not be a rude statement