Enigmatic Soul reveals all and nothing

I'm usually good with words but when I try and explain how I'm feeling to people, they just don't get it. I'm on holiday and can't seem to leave the house even though I really want to. How bad is that!

I would like to take this moment and proclaim the world to be a bunch of pissy assed bull shitters!

This proclamation has occurred for many reasons, none of which will make sense to anyone outside of the 7 walls of my head!

Annoyances

People who insist on telling you how awesome you are yet only show themselves as knowing bugger all as if they did know you, they'd know, that you don't damn well like being called awesome for no apparent reason other than making the caller of the awesome tagging feel better about themselves as they believe the callee feels better for the aforementioned awesome labelling

Lets discuss cute as a compliment, actually no, I will talk AT you. A person of the female form is inclined to call me cute, a word that is looked down upon in the male circle of manlyness, apparently! It's a compliment they say, they being the women folk. Yet will you lust after the cute one, will you choose him over the hot bodied one, oh no no no, so do women love the cuteness? Perhaps, but you're nothing against hot and struggling against rich! HA!

I like the way that you move
I like the way that you grooove

I like the way that you dress
And the way you caress

I like the way you get dirty
When you started all flirty

I like what you wear
And I like what you don't

I like what you saaaaay
And the way that we play

I like the way that you giggle
With that little wiggle =P

But most of allll
I like the way you're you

Do do do do doooo

I kill you with my stick of stickyness!

Fire! Fire! Panic at the Taco Bell

Discuss the discus

He's horny, he's thorny, he chased a ferret through the brambles.....

You reply to this blog, I give you some fog

DELETE

I'm not omnipotent, I just stalk you, THAT's how I know everything

I feel creative, creative doesn't like it

WHERE ARE MY CRAYONS!?! I need them to make pretties

I no smile, I just poo

I wanna flip reverse ya, mo fo'ing traverse ya

The blind man no see it, but he feel it real good, blind is the new leud

BIG ISSUE - I has no home

You read this? You pay me my money

I come for rent tomorrow, you in?

Chinese checkers soooo much better than yours you white man wide eye

Shmooze is the new letch

I don't want my nuts salted, but dip em in gravy and i'm all gooooood

07...........

I love cheese, like the 80's?

nom nom nom tasty

What you talkin bout Willis!?!

In my head this was funny, you're not there, so it ain't

HUZZAH!

Then sometimes you just want to say stop a second will you this isn't how it was supposed to be i was supposed to be all cool and happy and you would come along and complete me instead there you are all the way over in funsville while i stroll down a neverending solidarity street only veering off to my house on lonelyness lane yet what can be done about it when the mind is unwilling to let you go from an invisible prison that no one no matter how much they try can break into and understand so instead you just carry on like nothing is really wrong and everyone else plays along to the happy go lucky tune that you created with your one man band because you feel that if you lay it all out or take that extra move that they'll turn around and say no thanks that is damn too much for me i'm so glad i'm here and just going to carry on like it never even went that way you know what i mean

HAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Craig doesn't use punctuation because he is way too wacky for that conforming crap!

This blog is what it is, but what is it? I don't know and YOU SIR certainly don't! So leave it be and catch the last train home!

You ever had one of those days where you just look at yourself in the mirror and just think fuck it, I look damn hot today!?! ..... na me neither!

When I'm really random, I just speak to myself for hours and basically I think it's really funny shit but I get to wanting to do something to post to attract a posse of friendage to my internet aura and it just falls flat on its face. It's like Wile E Coyote vs Road Runner. I play the part of coyote, doomed to fail on a large scale.

Not that I'm doom mongering today, I'm just laying it on the line like a realistic racoon.

But it's like this, even what I write right now, I know it won't come across as I damn well want it. It won't convey my inner most thoughts and sum up my feelings at the time. Would you like some cheese with that whine you little whiney piss stain!?!

OOooooh yeah thats rights i'm bad mouthing myself whilst getting increasingly frustrated that my fingers can't find the correct keys ahmagad!

I need a patch to weeeeeen myself off t'internet, you know what I'm saying!?! Probably not..... I say its a "patch" aka a life my friends, I say "friends" I mean aka people who "like" me but have never met me and indured my life sucking qualities of doom! And yes I realise that made no sense but who cares, oooh thats right I DO!

Like sometimes I ban myself from social networks like its achieving something. Yep yep boi I ain't signing into msn tonight! That'll fucking show em, they going to be pineing for my super fun time get up! If I hide, they'll come looking....right? right?

If I spend an hour away from here, someone is BOUND to message me yeah? SO I MUST go check it out, I don't want to leave no one hanging now do I!?!

If I post a blog or a video, it has GOT to entertain, if it don't, what is my purpose? Who am I if I haven't got the entertainment value? It's not like you're going to come to me and be like yo craig, you being a man of the world and all that, hit me up with some advice. And perhps you could stop typing like you some black dude from the ghetto brudder!

But life is stoopid you know. I haven't left the house again this holiday and there's no way you can put a spin on that which doesn't show me to be pretty sad and pretrude loser like tendancies now.

I am actually going out next friday to see my very first band live! That is momentous yet sad all in one go. Already I'm thinking shit I'm going to miss some quality TV time! I may literally shit myself at any point between now and then. Who you going with then? My sister surprise surprise. If it wasn't for her, I wouldn't go anywhere, it's pathetic really. Without her I wouldn't have ever had a girlfriend, oooh thats honest isn't it. You so know that this is going to embarrass me at some point. If you do read this Stacey, we ain't ever going to mention it alreet!

Leads me onto an issue though about aforementioned gf! Do you believe in fate? Because I have few friends and small existing social life, that girl, still infiltrates my fucked up mind way too much to be healthy. So anyways on facebook my sister got me to add someone who she lived with before and who we went on holiday with which is all good and that. But I went to her page and what do I read right underneath the post "you are now friends with Craig" oooh how wonderful "you are now friends with Craig's ex" really didn't need that cos it shows I probably haven't moved on at all in life or as a person, which is hugely scary for me as it confirms I haven't actually grown and got over it. My over analyzing mind has a field day with that scenario! IT shouldn't affect me, i'm sure she is not bothered, this is way too honest a blog isn't it! HAHA

How do you like me now!! =P

I'm using a big font so hell knows how long this actually is. Did you have a spare HOUR!

It's cold! And you know it's cold when I'm cold, saying that I don't have a jumper on at the mo, I'm freakin HARDCORE biatch.

So today, I'm watching TV like my life depends on it. I've got darts, F1, football *cough* wrestling *cough* it's funny and entertaining alright!! AND I watch X Factor, what you going to do about it!! Cos you know you do too and the women are pretty on there so I don't even need the sound ok! Don't make me come over there and justify myself!!!!!

Then I have to watch Merlin on iplayer. That show rocks I have to say, not sure why but I just like it. I like lots of things WOO I just never know why, like I like Torchwood but can't stand Dr Who! How strange is that

Well that's it as the darts has started, what a rollercoaster day this will be

I rode the waves, then I rode your mum!

I'm a 30 second love machine

I'll laugh you into bed, then laugh you straight back out when I pull down my pants

I'm certainly not hot so I must be freaking cool

Fat people can't go skinny dipping FACT

This blog is longer than my penis

If boobs weren't supposed to be looked at, they wouldn't have been shoved out up front

Could I be anymore lamely idiotic right now

I'm coming after I stroke your pussy, should not be a rude statement

I watched X Factor tonight, keep it a secret though as I don't want to seem uncool haha!

Tonights show was the very example of why people criticise the show as nothing but pantomime. Tonight, without doubt, was down to a popularity contest and not a singing contest. Rachel cried so got votes and Daniel gets the nice guy votes and the Chris Moyles fan club votes of course! So Laura went! I guess she was in the bottom two because she is unpopular as its definately not that she is the worst singer. The stories in the paper, which revealed she was dating a 39 year old X Factor 'executive' has really gone against her I believe.

That shouldn't matter though, Brittney Spears still sells records despite a mixed personal life, the same goes for Michael Jackson doesn't it? At the end of the day she shouldn't have gone but Simon Cowell and Louis Walsh could and should have saved her but I firmly believe they voted tactically to protect their own acts. Simon Cowell wants Ruth so saved her, end of! Well probably not just for that reason but I don't like him!

Louis Walsh though, grrr he annoys the hell outta me! He is so out of touch its incredible and his constant cliches are getting more and more cringe worthy. He really sold out tonight though with his deciding vote. He loved every minute of it though and you could just tell he voted Laura off to help out JLS and yes that is understandable but that shouldn't be a reason for his vote, which it quite clearly was.

Well anyway, I won't see next weeks show as I'll be working late and I don't think I'll miss it too much. They'll probably get rid of Diana this time, lets get all the talent out! Obviously it helps that she is pretty but she is a very good and very different talent to what is already out there in the charts etc. I'll miss Laura, she was quite hot, even though she whore too much make up but I really did think she was an awesome singer.

When Diana goes though i'm just going to turn the sound down, kick back and enjoy watching Cheryl,every cloud....

ITV always let you down don't they! As I don't have Sky, I've really been enjoying the darts coverage on ITV4 but I missed last nights action as I was watching some football. I stupidly thought that the ITV Catch Up service would come to my aid, but I was sadly mistaken =(

They have thursdays action and the coverage from saturday afternoon but saturday night is a no show. Makes a bit of a mockery of the whole thing really. They need to work a lot harder on that service because it is way behind 4od and BBC iPlayer. SORT IT OUT ITV!! grrrr

I've posted almost 30 blogs and mustered about 11 comments, thats pretty impressive isn't it!?!
Basically, if you're viewing in black and white, i'm red hot

It's obvious Barack Obama is going to win this election thingamajig, he's a man of the people isn't he you know. Whereas John McCain isn't, always got a chip on his shoulder.......

I made a video yesterday and posted it on myspace yesterday and youtube today, I've got 11 views combined! I'm beginning to think its me lucky number! It's nothing special but I clearly don't know how to get viewers/readers without whoring the hell out of everything like ermmmm type in "random quiet horse" and you'll get my vid on youtube.....you hooked???